Remembering You

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This could be a story about you, but it’s actually about me.
Often we read into stories, quotes, statuses, and we see ourselves… we can relate in so many ways. But my words today are about me, and my specific path to hurting myself. Not purposely, but clearly without avoidance.

Stress… It can be mentally damaging, most of us are aware of that. But until recently, I don’t believe I truly understood the physical ramifications.
I always believe I am too strong to let life take me down, combined with the determination to let others believe I am okay. But often, as I sit quietly beside a friend… sometimes even an acquaintance… there is a little voice inside me that wants to scream out everything. I believe this post is the opportunity I am giving that little voice.

I rarely get sick. That statement was true until this year. Now I seem to struggle at being healthy. Those close to me started suggesting stress could be the reason. Being who I am, I questioned this, and my search provided many scientifically proven facts that stress can lower the immune system.
My second question was to my level of stress. I often just relate it to work, and why would that make me special… Most people have a certain level of stress from work.

Ok, so maybe not all those people have been back and forth to court lately, fighting for 100% custody of their children. Facing the prison release of their ex, a real life monster that preys on women and children. Memories pushed away for 8 years, all floating back to the surface. Feeling the pain at his hands, the fear, the threats. Worry for her children’s emotional being, worry for her own physical security, worry for society as a whole.

And maybe those that are, didn’t recently discover a possible health risk. A cyst on their thyroid. Experiencing back and forth doctor’s appointments to determine the diagnosis. Now facing a biopsy for the final results. I know logically the odds are good, that it will be filled with nothing dangerous. But acknowledging my own humanity, I can’t help but allow some worry.

So as I fight 7 weeks of sickness, currently diagnosed with bronchitis, I have come to realize that I allowed the stress to do this to me. I have literally made myself sick with worry. I let all the issues consume me instead of taking control and filling my life with experiences and people to counter the stress.

This story is about me, but I have put it here to remind you not to ignore your own. Remember yourself above all others. If you are not physically and emotionally healthy, you can not be your best for yourself or others.

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