I’ve seen a monster, and it wasn’t hiding under my bed.
Admitting I was abused, tends to feel like I’m confessing to an inexcusable weakness. I’m logical enough to know that thought couldn’t be further from the truth, but there are parts of my mind not easily convinced.
7. That’s the number of years I gave to an individual that didn’t seem to think twice about using his strength to encourage my submission. Due to my eternal stubbornness, I never relented without a fight… which of course delivered even worse results. I spent the time as a pitiful version of my former self. My laugh and smile, almost a trademark, known as a thing of the past.
The only positive in my life was the three little boys I was blessed with.
I was lucky, and I don’t believe even I knew how much at the time. A way out, without threat towards myself or loved ones, was finally offered… and I ran through that open door. I want to say I never looked back, but after more than 8 years, I seem to be doing just that.
A little more luck was added to my life when that monster was locked behind cold steel bars. I knew nothing could be hiding in my closet, I no longer slept with a bat beside my bed.
That time is now over. The gate is opening and my life will be changing. I don’t know if I should be afraid or barely acknowledge it. What I do know is that the more confidence I have in my defence abilities, hopefully the less fear that ultimately consumes me.
This is where I come from. It does not make me who I am, but it is a part of me. To share in my journey of victim to victor, join me here… on the dark side.